


I Will Love You Endlessly

by multicolormuke



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depressed Dean, M/M, Sad Castiel, Suicidal Dean, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 18:58:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6206704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multicolormuke/pseuds/multicolormuke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel have been together for quite some time now, and Cas is very aware of Dean's depression. But he never thought it could get so bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Love You Endlessly

**Author's Note:**

> This may be triggering! Please do not read if you will be triggered.

"Alright Dean, Cas and I are gonna head to Gas-N-Sip and get some food. Do you wanna come?" Sam asked as he walked past Dean, who was sitting down reading a random magazine that was laying around, with his feet kicked up on the table.

"Nah, I'm good. Bring me some pie though." Dean said with a smile, looking up at his little brother. He has always been so proud of Sam. Watching his brother grow into the man he is, it made Dean proud.

"Yeah, I will." Sam chuckled and nodded, and patted Dean's shoulder before walking outside to the car. Castiel walked into the room next, and looked at Dean as he did.

"Dean." He spoke in a soft voice, licking his lips and stepping closer to him.

"Yeah?" Dean replied, looking up to the angel.

"Something is wrong. Is it bad today?" He asked, implying to Dean's depression. Castiel was always worried about Dean, he was always on the angel's mind.

"Nope, I'm feeling good, baby!" Dean pumped his fist in the air as he put on a wide grin. He thought it would be better to fake his happiness than let Cas know how bad he truly is. He never wants to feel like a burden.

"Good. Please come to me if it gets bad. I do care for you, Dean."

"I know Cas, now gimme a kiss." He said, puckering his lips up for Castiel's slightly chapped ones to meet. Dean cupped Cas's cheek, and kissed him as passionately as he could. After all, this would be their last kiss. Castiel pulled away and kissed Dean's head, before going outside to meet Sam.

Once Dean heard the door close, he stood up and walked into his bedroom. He sat on his bed, and reached into his drawer and grabbed the sealed envelopes he had written. One for Sam, and one for Cas. He ripped each of them open, and read over them once more. He read the one to Cas, last.

 

**Dear Cas, If you are reading this, that means I’m probably dead. I have planned this out more times than I can count. First off, I don’t want you to think I wasn’t happy with you. Because I was. You gave me so much joy, Cas. Just seeing you made me feel a hundred times better. I’m sitting here thinking about all of our memories together. We had some pretty good times, didn’t we? Remember when you told me that you got feelings for me? We were in baby, and you grabbed my hand and you were quiet for a while. After a bit, you looked up to me and you spoke the only words I ever needed to hear from you. "I love you." In that moment I was happier than ever. Cas, I’m so sorry for doing this. I never wanted to leave you. Oh, I forgot to add something. Please, please do not try to bring me back. I’m gonna cut this short, I’m crying like a damn girl here. I have and I will, love you endlessly, Cas. Thank you for everything you have ever done for me. – Dean.**

 

He let out a sigh and wiped his hand over his face, then put the paper back in the envelop and licked it shut. He took the three of them, and stood up. He walked out of his room and left the envelopes on the table, then went back to his room. He shut the door, and grabbed a handgun from his bedside drawer, and sat down at the edge of his bed. Thoughts began racing through his mind, and he closed his eyes as he pressed the gun under his jaw. Was he really about to do this? Leave them? What about Sammy, what would this do to him? It would scar him for sure. And Cas? It would ruin him. Dean let out a shaky breath, and inhaled once more before pulling the trigger.

Sam opened the door, and walked inside of the bunker with Castiel following behind him. They immediately heard a gunshot sounding off, and Sam dropped the bags he was holding and pulled out his gun that was tucked in his belt, carefully walking to where he heard the shot. He checked all around, and then finally Dean’s room. He twisted the doorknob and let out a loud sob as soon as he saw his brother, lying on the bed with a gun in his hand, blood splattered, covering the walls. Castiel walked in behind him and froze. Sam ran up to Dean’s lifeless body and shook him harshly.

“Dean! Dean please wake up!” He screamed, as tears rolled down his face.

Castiel walked away, not being able to stare at his dead lover any longer. He walked into the kitchen and found the envelopes, and sat down carefully. He was trying his hardest to keep it together, as he read the note. Once he finished reading, Sam walked out soon after while still crying, and saw the envelope with his name written on it. Castiel tucked Dean’s note into his pocket, and stared into space in front of him, and only a few words could escape his mouth.

“I’m sorry Dean.”


End file.
